Atuk, R.I.P

I guess everyone have heard that my beloved one and only grandfather passed away 2 weeks ago. 9 months after my grandma left us, left him an...

I guess everyone have heard that my beloved one and only grandfather passed away 2 weeks ago. 9 months after my grandma left us, left him and 6 days exactly after his 83rd birthday. When all my scheduled plan for my renewing visa process turned haywire and went nothing like I planned, I was devastated. Friends and family provide me comfort by saying there should be hikmah behind all this, for Allah knows best. Indeed it is soooo very true.

If only my schedule goes according to plan, I will be thousand miles away in Bahrain at that moment and will never have chance to say goodbye to Atuk

If only my schedule goes according to plan.......

Things happen the way it happened. I felt so blessed for I was given chance to at least pay my last respect to my grandparents and contribute my doa as I kneeled by their grave.

Recap on the day, we received the heartbreaking news around 7.00 am. He left us peacefullly at 6.55 in the morning. My father was already at Johor for he had some work related matters there and was planning to pay a visit to atuk after he done his stuffs. Sadly, he was late by few hours. Me and my mom on the other hand was in KL. As most of you aware, our returned to Malaysia this time was to settle En Muddy's residency matters. And as per the process requirement, he need to submit his international passport to Kuwait Embassy for couple of days, hence he's passport-less. Ever since the news hit me, I have nothing in my mind except the thought that I have to be in Spore soonest as I can. I need to see him and kiss him for the last time. I have to. I lost the opportunity when my grandmother left and I will do anything I can this time. That's solely my only wish, nothing else matters. Since there's only left me, my mom and my sister, so I decided to drive myself, and left my husband in KL since there's no way he could make it into Spore without his passport. My father will took a cab immediately from Johor.

We left around 8.30 and sort of chasing time. I just made 2 stops, to buy breakfast for the girls and re-fueling my tanks. I am that desperate to see my grandfather for the last time. Again, we can plan, we can speed up, we could pick the fastest route, I would fly if I could but if Allah said jadik, maka jadiklah.. tak jadik, maka tak jadik la. It is fated that we were meant to see his pusara only. We're 30 minutes too late.



:: Pusara Atuk . Kubur sebelah tengah baca talkin. AlFatihah for all the deceased that day ::


:: Erin tabur bunga on Atuk Nyang's new home ::


So this is goodbye, I cant cry…I cant look down at your face and cry, because I know if the tears spill over my cheeks this time they are never going to stop. Kneeling before you, praying to god that you are okay is one of the hardest goodbyes i have ever dealt with, I know that your away from the pain, I know that your happy now, I know that nothing can hurt you now,but I also know that I will never see you on this earth ever again. I will never get a chance to say goodbye and I will never get a chance not to cry.


Since both pusara of my gramps located nearby, we took the opportunity to visit hers also. As can be seen, they have done built the tomb for her .







To those who happened to know my grandparents well, will know that they're such a lovely couple, never go anywhere without one another. When my grandma passed away, my grandfather had a hard time adjusting life without her. I guess it is just too hard too endure. Even their grave was near to each other and tell you what, even their lot number are rhymed. My grandma's lot number was 2144 and my grandpa was 4144. Separated by 2000 other deceased is not that bad I guess. If this can be called coincidence, so be it but to me, it is a symbol of pure love and Allah knows that fact for He decided to let him go not long after her.



:: Due to limited of soil and space in Spore, they had prepared the concrete grave hole beforehand, just like above picture. It is very organized and systematic, so the burial ceremony doesn't took long as usual since everything has been prepared. After they put the deceased body inside, they'll cover it a bit with sand, and put concrete block on top of it. Then, another layer of sand and grass will be planted on the grave, forming a normal kubur look. Family then can deal with the management to build a tomb later, mostly done a week after. For my grandpa, arrangement have been made for his tomb during the second day ::

Just for info, Muslim Cemetery in Spore will be dig again after 15 years, and they will sort of transfer the deceased into new grave. 8 deceased per hole. The old grave will be recycle. If you have 8 family members buried in the cemetery, you can request to buried all of them in the same hole. Else, they'll just buried it with other deceased.




: Bas Jenazah. Atuk and nenek's last ride. If in Malaysia we have van jenazah, in Spore they have bus jenazah instead. It was just like normal bus you always seen on the road. The only difference was at the back side of the bus, they have this compartment for jenazah in the middle with like 6 chairs facing each other, to accompany the jenazah. The front part was just like normal bus seating. Am soo liking the idea because it is rather convenient for everyone to travel together compared to travel separately. Mana nak grief lagi, nak pening carik parking lagi, plus case yang sesat barat tak jumpa cemetery. Silap silap by the time sampai, talkin pun dah abes. With this bus, definitely hassle free and you can just concentrate on your grieving and burial ceremony ::

:: Quoted from my cousin- Yana's caption... "The richest couple ever, - they had silver in their hair, gold in their hearts, and pocketfuls of lifetime memories shared with others."

I am so lucky to have this richest couple as my grandparents.

We don't cry much during my grandpa time, in fact we already laughing reminiscing about how funny he were, how he made all of our lives so meaningful and lively and how his jokes never failed to cheer us up. For that, he deserved all the smile he can get, not tears.

"Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile." ~ Julie Burchill

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

All of us redha with Qada' dan Qadar and we accepted the faith that it is time for him to leave. Al- Fatihah to both of my beloved gramps. Though we have parted ways for now, worry not cause I'll be sending you a lot of doa till my own time comes.

Lottsss of love and doa from your grandcucus and grandcicits.....



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