I had great lost today.

I am at my kitchen this morning around 11 am(Q8 time) , equivalent to 4 pm ( Malaysia time) siang udang, prep to make Gulai Udang when my phone rang. When I saw the name appeared on my phone screen - Ayah, it made me wonder. It's not his behaviour to call me since I went to Q8. Normally he will SMS or ask my mum to SMS. Not having anything in mind, I picked it up and 1st thing I hear was :

Ayah : Ngah, nenek meninggal ! Baru meninggal

Only silent reply. He repeated again :

Ayah : Ngah, nenek Bedok meninggal tadi. Ayah on the way balik Singapore, ayah kat Damansara ni.

Still in shock..

Me : Ummmmm.. ohh okay. Innalillah.

Then silent again..

Ayah : Okaylah.. ayah nak amik mama.

Me : Ok Ok..

I had no idea how to respond to this news like I was having a dream or something so I continue with what I am currently doing before the call. I continue siang udang, slicing bawang and so on. My mind completely go blank. My husband was sleeping at this time coz he just came back from work,night shift. I have no strength to wake him up. My hand even shaking while cutting the onion. 2-3 minutes after that, I heard him waking up and talking to the girls. Probably scolding them for making so much noise and disturbing his sleep I couldn't be sure myself coz I dun hear a thing. My mind was too busy processing the news.

He appeared at my kitchen entrance in groggy looking and messy hair. Without looking at him, I blurted " Dee, nenek meninggal ! " . As I say it outloud, it hit me. Real hard and I cried and weep and sobbed. He comforted me and then leave me to have moment of my own, and stay with the girls.

So today 29th June 2010, I lost my one and only nenek. I dun even had chance to meet her before I boarded to Q8 as we were in tight schedule and now, I realised if only I make times to visit her before leaving for Q8, it would be my last time hugging her, touching her and kissing her cheek. She's been un-well for quite sometimes. From what I heard, she passed away peacefully, while talking on the phone with her brother in Malacca. She had my auntie beside her and she inhaled 2 times which seems to be her last breath.

It is tragedy to us, it is indeed Qada' dan Qadar. We love her so much, her friends love her but Allah loves her more. For now, she's still in Singapore GH mortuary as they need to do post mortem and determined her cause of death as she did not died due to her illness it seems. From my mum's SMS, apparently a nite before, she's vomitting blood and was refered to hospital but discharged at 5 am on the same day.

Am going to miss her mouth-watering beriyani, am going to miss her constant advice to me " Ura, jangan lupe baca surah 3 Kul tiap kali kuar rumah, baca ayat kursi bile jalan jalan, Insya allah, di jauhkan dari malapetaka ", am going to miss her smile, am going to miss her tears everytime we had to say goodbye on Hari Raya ke-4. am going to miss her sambal udang, am going to miss her softness. On top of it, am soooooo gonna miss her.

To those who happened to read this, please make doa for my grandma and you will have my gratitude for your kindness.

AL FATIHAH.

And yes, I could use some miracle...private jet maybe to fly me over to Singapore so I could pay my last respect to my grandma, and importantly, to be able to kiss her cheek for one last time.


Dari Dia kite datang, kepada Dia kite kembali.


Hajah Minah Binti Abdul Aziz.
Born:
31/12/1933 Demised : 29/06/2010

P/S : Photo credit to my Pak Lang , Arshad Othman.