Few days back during En Muddy off day, we decided to bring the girls to beach, Mangaf Beach. tak tau la nama betul ke tak heheh we just called it Mangaf Beach.

I've been not feeling well since 2-3 hari sebelum tuh. Head ache and body ache causing me not having enough beauty sleep. Everyday nak tido kene makan Uphamol. If I'm lucky, boleh lah lelap mata 2-3 pagi, kalau tak 6 pagi baru terlelap. Not blaming on weather, but I think it may play some small role in my health condition plus I'm not really daily-7 litre-plain-water-drinker, which worsen the condition.

Well, by 5, when En Muddy decided that the temperature was bearable and safe enough for the girls, we make our move. If any of you remember, I've mentioned once in my previous post that my house was just nearby beach. Few buildings away. Around 400 meters. It took us 10 minutes walking. Boley sampai lagi cepat sebenar nyer if i weren't the fact that we have to cross 3 lane expressway hahahaha..The expressway delayed us indeed.

This beach was un-commercial beach. There's no facilities like bench, stall selling drinks whatsoever. It just a secluded beach, dirty one infact but the water was very clear and clean. Oh no, the girls are not allowed to swim, although there are few people I saw swimming in the ocean. We came here just for recreational purpose so that the girls can run freely, play with sands after 4 days being in cage.


-pelancong jepun melawat pantai Mangaf-

Alis Erin of course tidak membuang masa and terus mengambus dan main pasir. Me on another hand, melepaskan lelah nearby. It's hot alright although it's not worst case scenario. Still when the wind blows, can felt bahang nyer. A kiss of summer breeze on ur cheeks. Can't say it's inconvenient though, it just different.

I started to feel un-easy but decided maybe because of lack of sleep and head-ache I am having beforehand and it should go away after short rest by the beach.


- i dun feel well already when this pic taken -


- tak sehat or not, mother is still a mother no matter they go -


- latest of erin, muka dh merah, kulit dh tanned -


- my big baby -

As most people do at the beach, the girls plays with sand, with splash of water albeit my warning not to wet their pants coz I didn't bring any spare clothes, running and screaming out loud. In short, being kids. In between I gave them plain water we brought from home and I gobbled some myself.



We stayed around 1 hour so till Maghrib then make a move back home.

It's not long after we start our few steps when I suddenly felt dizzy. Ear buzzing, numbness can be feel in my head and things started doubled. It's not a good sign. I quickly set my bum on some stones and inhale as much as I can. When I started to feel okay, we start again and after few steps I had another blackout. This happened like 5 times and to make it worst, we had to cross 6 lane expressway in order to go back. During our way going to beach, we carry each girls while crossing. Hubby carried Alis coz she's bigger hence heavier and me with Erin although i think there's not much different hahahaha. Erin was putting on weight drastically ever since we reached Q8.

Well long story cut short, me and Erin survived the expressway but I had to make another stop shortly after that. Long one till I asked my hubby to proceed 1st and get me some cold drinks. I am short of breath, feeling dizzy and I felt intoxicated. Can't walk straight and I felt like the earth was floating. This is where I started to snap at everyone. I snapped at Erin for clinging to my feet. I can't even manage my own weigh. I snapped at Alis for running and not watching out for incoming car. This is Q8 !! U can't expect car to be just on the road, there's car everywhere even on the building pavement. I snapped at my husband for taking too long to get me water and for not controlling the kids and for not running and bla bla bla.. Most of all, I snapped at myself for not being stronger and for not be able to drag my feet. 1 single step at that moment seems like the hardest thing to do, believe me.

In blurry vision, I saw nearest building and I saw sofa in the basement, which I set as my target. I am not going to faint in the middle of nowhere, in the clearing. How am my husband going to carry me and the kids. It's not possible since the kids will start crying, he's start panicking and things will get out of control. So I must reach that building, even if I had to crawl, I will reach that building. Inspirational story tak ??? Agak2 ley wat drama bersiri tak?? Kisah survival seorang ibu melawan pengsan...Kah kah kah... inspirational sangat la kannn....

So, pendek citer ( dari tadi rasa asik long story cut short, tak abes2 pun citer ni kan ) I managed to reach my target sofa and lay my head to rest. This is the moment when I felt my right hand started to go into numbness. Based on my un-counted experience before, this is the beginning of the worst case scenario so I quickly told my husband to go get paper bag or plastic bag coz I started hyperventilating. This happened due to lack of carbon dioxide in one body causing all muscle goes cramp. In my case, it will always started with right hand, follows by another hand and both leg, then my chest muscle where I will started to get short of breath, and then eventually, go pengsan ! I've been in this situation countless time and I can see it's coming. Combination of tiredness, lack of calcium, lack of water and lack of sleeps caused this.

My husband ran to near restaurant and get me plastic bag which I used to breath in that, exhaled my breath in the plastic, producing carbon dioxide and inhaled back CO2 to replenish what seems to be lack in my system. Of course En Muddy had to hold the plastic for me coz my hands and legs all goes cramp and stiffed by this time. My condition sure scared Erin a lot coz she just refused to be anywhere near me after that.

Around 15 good minutes passed by, I started to feel my muscle loosing off, out of it stiffness state. I'm able to move and relax my muscle and my breath go steady and slowly. It's working ! En Muddy kept massaging my hand to help the muscle to soften faster. Once seeing my condition stabilized, En Muddy went again to the shop to get some food so I can eat. He bought Chicken Shawarma. Very tasty one indeed. So hikmah sebalik me goes cramp was we found nice shop selling shawarma in walking distance from our place. How nice is that ???

After eating, and me started to feel well again, we continue our walk home. Reached home safely, had hot shower and fell asleep in no time. For info, even though I'm already okay, the pain due to the cramp will still can be feel until today. It took days or even weeks to heal but I'm very grateful things doesn't go out of control and turned ugly. Alhamdullilah ! If you stay calm, keep yourself together, keep your mind together, things should be all fine. I dun mind having to rubbed my feet and hands with hot oil every nite, little extra work shouldn't do any harm.

This is the reason why I was banned from attending morning assembly during primary school.

This is the reason why I was banned from marathon during my secondary life.

This is the reason why I was being called "sotong", "lembik" and "budak pengsan" during my childhood.

How I wished I could reached finishing line in marathon with my friends, or singing Negaraku in que with my classmates instead from bilik guru.


I dun asked for this but apparently Allah The Mighty Planner has his own planned for me.

However, this "budak pengsan" had conquered 4 mountains including highest peak of Kinabalu, I just dunno how. So budak pengsan or not, sotong or not, I just love me and I know a lot of people out there feel the same way too.




- "budak pengsan" tgh termenung :) -